Are You Ready For The Night Of Nights? (The West Saga)

Yes, the long-anticipated part three of the West Saga. Sorry it took so long, I needed time for inspiration to pop into my head. :)


So three weeks went by... Three wonderful, amazing, dazzling weeks. I spent most of my free time in Wes' company, and he spent most of his in mine. We couldn't get enough of each other, and frankly, I was okay with it. I still didn't know if he actually liked me or not, but he had said we were turning out to be really great friends. I was a little bummed when I heard that, but I figured since he was spending more time with me than any of my friends ever would there had to be some kind of attraction in there somewhere.
We worked on our dance, too. We had to pick a song and come up with costumes for the winter showcase. We agreed to dance to Come On Get Higher by Matt Nathanson. We still hadn't lost that spark from our first time together. The costume, however, was a mystery. Mona, the Orchesis director, said she'd try and come up with something.
Sometimes after class Wes and I would go down  by the library where there was a little mini pond. It was a beautiful spot to just simply go to and play guitar. It became "our spot" even though it was technically a public area. But in our minds, it was set aside just for us. It was our secret little hideout we would go to when we wanted to talk, think, or play music.


It was a chilly autumn day when my life turned upside down. It was the first day we'd had since school began where the temperature was below 50 degrees. I was headed off to calculus, the class Wes and I had together. We always sat next to each other now, since we felt more comfortable in the other's presence. I huddled beneath my coat, not used to the cool air. As I stepped into the classroom and out of the cold, my insides turned even colder than the weather outside.
Sitting next to Wes, in my seat, was a girl who I'd never seen before. She was perfectly sculpted with platinum blonde hair most of the way down her back in a dead straight wave of sunshine. She laughed, showing ultra-white teeth surrounded by pink lips set beneath a button nose. She was everything a guy could want and more. But she could have chosen any other guy...
I walked over to Wes, my heart in my mouth. "So..." I said awkwardly.
The girl in my seat looked up. "Oh, Hi! I'm Lydia."
I nodded. "Wes?" 
"Uh, sorry Tia. She just transferred into this class because of dance team practices... They interfered with her old calc class... She kind of asked already if she could sit here. I didn't think you'd mind. Is that okay?"
Well, no. Its not okay at all. How could you be so stupid, Wes!? "Sure. Have fun." I spun on my heel and walked over to the only other empty table in the corner.
Breathe, Tia. I told myself. It's only one class. You still get to hang out with him today after class. That thought kept me going throughout the whole lonely class. I would occasionally glance over and see her leaning in towards him to ask a "question." Fury burned in my throat. Or maybe it was jealousy. Either way, I was feeling something, and it wasn't a nice feeling.
Class ended, and thankfully, Wes waited for me outside the door. But when I stepped outside, Wes wasn't the only one waiting for me.
"Hey, Tia... I know we're supposed to go to Java Hut and study for the calc quiz together, but Lydia needed some help with the negative integrals so I offered to let her join us."
WHAT?!?!?!?! That witch can't ruin this too? Can she!? What was I supposed to say? No, it's not okay, let her fail on her own, she's a boy-stealing soul-sucker? Personally, I was all ready to say my thoughts when I was interrupted by Lydia.
"Thank you so much for letting me join you guys. It's really sweet of you to help me out. I can't fail a class or I'll be kicked off dance team!"
I let my breath go that I'd been saving to speak my mind. "Alright, fine. Let's go." I said unenthusiastically.
Lydia squealed and clapped her hands together. "Yay!! Thank you thank you thank you!"
The torture lasted for about two hours in Java Hut. I was ready to start banging my head on the table when Lydia finally stood up and said she had to go meet her roommate in the UC. I breathed a sigh of relief when she left.
"What's your issue, Tia?" Wes demanded.
"What?" I replied, feigning ignorance. I knew exactly what he was talking about.
"With Lydia, what's your deal? She's a perfectly nice person and you hated her immediately."
"What? No I didn't!"
"Yes, you did."
"No..."
"Tia. I'm not stupid. As soon as you walked into class this morning you've been in a dark mood. I can tell by your body language. You're angry and frustrated. Just tell me why you don't like her."
Well, here goes nothing. "She's too.... perky. Yeah, I know weird coming from me. But it still seems really fake. And she's starting to cut into our study time. I already knew how to do negative integrals, yet I sat here for two hours reviewing something I already knew. I needed to study the other materiel. Plus, I don't like the way she was looking at you...."
"The way she was looking at me? Tia, we're friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend. You don't have to be jealous. So what if she likes me? Maybe I like her too. Besides, she asked me to hang out later and I said yes."
That blew it for me. "Well fine then Wes. Run after her and tell her how you REALLY feel. After all, its not like I care! Go ahead and take her to our spot and show her every song you've ever written. Go do a duet with her. Go and hang out with her all the time and just forget about me Wes. Just forget about me."
Wes was taken aback. "Is that what you think? That she's replacing you?! Tia, you know you're one of the greatest friends I have here."
"Maybe friend isn't at all the title I want Wes. Ever thought about that?"
"What do you mean?"
"YOU asked ME out first. YOU'VE made the time to come and see ME in my dorm. YOU'VE written songs with ME. Maybe there's more than just a friendship, Wes. And I guess you're too blind to see it."
Wes sat in his chair, speechless. I gathered up my things and left him there, still fuming from our argument. Why do boys have to be so stupid and blind?? I've been dropping hints like mad and he never notices a thing. Then this hot Lydia girl comes along and says ten words to him and he's panting over her like a dog on a hot summer day. What does she have that I don't?
-Well, she's gorgeous, and you're just... average. - The nasty voice in my head told me.
I don't care. College guys should be past that by now. Besides, Wes seemed to like me like that before she came along.
-Tell yourself what you like, he's so over you.-
"Shut UP!" I yelled out loud.
Several people were walking by when I shouted. They all gave me weird looks since I was walking alone. I lowered my gaze and walked faster, hurrying along to my destination. 
I had immediately thought of Wes' and My's spot out by the library and headed there. It was a place I always associated with calmness and tranquility. A place where I could go and think. So I did.


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I went back to my dorm room after spending nearly three hours just sitting in the grass by the pond thinking and mulling over my situation with Wes. I hadn't come to a decision as to wether or not I needed to apologize, so I held off until I could discuss it with my roommates.
I skipped my afternoon classes, too emotionally wrecked to attend. It was the first time I'd ever missed and I wasn't worried about missing much. I could always talk to the professors. I stared at old pictures of my friends back home, and I listened to music that under normal circumstances would calm me down. But nothing worked. I just sat on the futon in our room for a long time, waiting for someone to come back with which I could then discuss my drama.
Rhyan was the first one back. She saw me sitting on the futon and knew immediately something was up. At that time, I was normally in class. But she didn't ask why I didn't go to class. She just sat down next to me and hugged me. She kept her arms around me for a minute until I finally turned so I could hug her back. We just hugged for a few minutes until I finally decided I should tell her what was up.
"Rhyan..." I sighed. 
"What's wrong, hun?" She asked, concern in her voice. "Are you sick? What happened?"
"No, no I'm not sick. Just.... broken. Sort of."
"Go on." She smiled at me for encouragement.
I took a deep breath and told her everything that had happened, starting with calc class this morning and ending with a couple of minutes ago. When I finished, she gathered me up in her arms again.
"Oh Tia, I'm so sorry! I know how much you liked him."
I pulled out of her embrace. "Liked him? I wouldn't be this depressed if I didn't still like him!"
"Right. I know how much you LIKE him. There. Better?"
I smiled, noting her humor. "Much."
"I knew it. No one can get past my humor." She laughed, and I laughed right along with her.
"Thanks Rhyan. You know how to make me feel better." I smiled.




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part four.. maybe coming eventually.

Jack Johnson- To The Sea

I am in love with this man. He is my hero.

Wonderful New Beginnings

I'm getting to know my roommates more and more. And yes, Lauren, Alex and Rhyan are real people, not just people I made up for my story. I used real people and places except for Wesley. He's made up. But honestly, I was having my doubts about how well I was going to get along with these girls, but it's turning out to be an absolutely wonderful relationship. They all hate pink, just like me, and love to mess around with music, although they arent quite as involved as I am. We arent morning people and we love a good time with good people. We all love to stay up late into the night talking with our girls about our boys and having FUN. We agree easily on who gets the top and bottom bunks and who is bringing the t.v. and futon and all the other stuff for the room. There has been no conflicts, and I honestly don't expect any soon, maybe never. I can't wait for college, and they're only making it better.
:) thanks girls for just being awesome like me.

Funny Words Said By Random People

(Background story first)
So I basically own everything from forever 21. It's my favorite store. So one day I was wearing some shorts I bought there and I was standing right next to the table they were on. This is what happened next.
Random Lady: "Ohhh I love your shorts! Where did you get them?"
Me: "Uh, right there."
'Nuff said.

(Background story!)
So I was at work and Shamika (one of my hilarious co-workers) and I were taking out the trash. We were both tired, and Mika was really annoyed. So she said dumb dumb dumb about 7 times in a row as we walked past a little girl and her dad. This is what happened next.
Little girl: "Daddy, why does that girl keep saying dumb dumb dumb dumb?"


Alex: "rhyan, go f*** yourself."
Rhyan: : "Alex, that is the nicest thing you have said to me all day. I LOVE YOU TOO!"
(i'm loving these girls more and more by the minute.)


Me: "Megan, I think we lost our car."

Partie Deux (The West Saga)

That night, I wore my favorite black dress and comfy black sandals. I had to look hot, after all it was my first college party. And my roommates agreed that I was pretty cute. 
Nervousness built up in my stomach as we made our way to Kulhavi residence hall. The party was being held in the lowest level, in the study rooms. All the desks and chairs had been pushed to the side, and there was already music blasting as crazy lights flashed all around. People danced like nuts, and the room was hot and sticky.
"This is so not what I was hoping for..." I said to my roommate, Lauren.
"Tell me about it. Oh well, the dancing looks like fun! C'mon, let's go!" She grabbed my arm and dragged me to the dance floor.
People kept arriving. It had been full when we got there, but soon the room was packed. Everyone was shoulder to shoulder, no matter what way you faced. The music began to be drowned out by people laughing and talking. But I still wasn't quite satisfied, for one reason or another that I didn't know.
I wandered out from the dance floor to the sides of the party, hoping to cool off a little bit. I wasn't expecting anyone to talk to me, never the less know my name and call it out.
"TIA!!!"
I looked around, but I couldn't spot where the voice came from.
"TIA!! OVER HERE!"
I searched again, and I finally saw someone waving their hand in the dark light. I walked over, interested in who it could be. It didn't sound like any of my roommates, but somehow that voice was familiar.
I finally reached the spot where my mystery friend was waiting, and I nearly fainted when I saw who it was. It was Wesley! He had dressed up a bit for the party wearing black jeans and a white top. His red sneakers looked new, and his hair was combed in a perfect swoop off to one side. His dark eyes glittered from the lights.
"Hey! I wasn't expecting to see you here!" He said.
"I wasn't either! Well this is nice!" I chuckled. "I have someone else to hang out with besides my roomies!"
"Yeah, seriously! My roommates didn't even come. They said something about a video game marathon or something... They're such dorks."
"What? You don't like video games?"
"Well..."
"I thought so!" We both laughed.
"So anyways, you look really nice. That dress is awesome!" He smiled.
"Thanks! You look pretty great yourself." I could tell I was blushing, but I hoped he wouldn't notice in the dim light.
"I'm just gonna take a chance here and ask you... Do you wanna dance?"
"Like we did today?" I giggled, then recovered. "Sure."
So we danced. But not like we had earlier. It was simply social dancing, but somehow, our bodies connected again like they had before. We knew how to move, and it was the greatest thing. 
Finally, we stopped. We were both hot and tired, and more people had come to join the party. As we walked back over to the outskirts of the room, Wes asked me;
"Do you want to go outside for a bit? I'm hot, and it's just HOT in here."
I nodded.
Outside, it was cool. The cool autumn breeze felt nice on my hot skin, and hopefully cooled down the redness that had sprung up on my cheeks. We sat in the soft grass outside the doors and just looked at the stars for a few quiet minutes. I wrestled with myself, trying to get up the courage to ask him to come back to my room so I could show him my guitar. But I didn't want him to think I was trying to do anything to him... Plus, I didn't want to sound like a creeper. I decided that if he loved guitar enough, he wouldn't take it the wrong way. So I asked.
"Well sure, Tia. That sounds like fun!" Wes said.
I breathed a sigh of relief.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



"And I'm on my way to believing." I sang the final line of one of my favorite songs. 
"Wow, Tia. You're good!"
"No, I'm not. I just practiced that song for months. It's one of my favorites." I smiled.
He returned a smile. "I can see why."
We sat in silence for a moment, and after it was over I realized that we had one of those "moments" everyone talks about. The kinds in romantic movies when the two people finally realize they're deeply in love with one another and so they stare lovingly into each other's eyes for a minute. It was strange, realizing that you just had one of those kinds of moments with a guy you just met that afternoon.
Wes cleared his throat awkwardly. "So how about I play you a song now?"
I noticed I was blushing again. No hiding it this time. "Sure." I handed him my guitar.
He played me a song I'd never heard before, but it was beautiful. His voice was so pure, but still had enough gruff in it to sound like a man. The song itself seemed so simple, but when I watched his fingers move so fast they were a blur, I realized he was playing with his heart. He looked at me when he played the last chord, and I was speechless.
His face was crestfallen. "You didn't like it?" The way he said it was more of a statement than a question.
I recovered from my speechlessness. "No! I loved it! Seriously, Wes, that song was beautiful. And wow, you can play guitar really well!"
He perked up immediately, heartened by my words. "Aw, thanks Tia. But really, I'm not that great."
"Yes you are!" I argued.
We both stared at each other in mock anger, then burst into a fit of laughter.
At that moment, my roommates walked in to find us rolling on the floor, tears streaming down our cheeks as our breath came in spurts. 
"What the heck are you two doing?" Lauren asked.
We stopped laughing (sort of) and explained that we had just been hanging out, playing guitar, nothing more. Lauren raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't ask any more questions.
We recovered completely from our laughing fit about two minutes later. Wes said he should probably go and get some sleep. After all, we had to dance at 10 the next morning. He advised me to get some sleep too, and not gossip about him with my roommates. I blushed, because that was exactly what I had been planning on doing. I told him I'd try, but if they really wanted to know, i'd tell them.
As soon as the door closed, all three of my roommates ran out into our living room and demanded to know what had happened. Their rationale for knowing was the fact that he was a really cute guy who was in our dorm room. So I told them everything that had happened from this afternoon to that moment. They were overly excited when I told them about the "moment" we'd had, and tried immediately to glean a meaning from it.
"Seriously, guys, I'm sure it was nothing."
"Nothing?? Yeah right. He's totally into you!" Rhyan protested.
"Of course it's not nothing! You can't just have a moment and not have it mean anything!" Alex agreed.
"I totally saw them dancing at the party too!" Lauren added.
All three of them squealed with excitement.
"You never told us you danced with him at the party!! Oh my goodness that definetly means he's into you!" Rhyan said.
"No, it just means he wanted to dance with me. You guys over analyze everything!" I told them.
"Nuh-uh!" They all replied.
I shook my head and told them they could analyze all they wanted, but at that moment, Wes and I were nothing more than friends. They all giggled and reassured me they wouldn't analyze everything as much. I doubted that, but I let them think I believed them.


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partie trois coming soon!

Pourquoi etes les personnes qui j'aime sont stupides?

La vie n'est pas complet sans lui.
Il est la vie, la monde et mon cherie!
Pourquoi est-il parfait en de hors,
mais en de dans, il est vraiment tort?
alors, je suis seule dans ma vie.

Tristement je suis sans lui.
Mais un jour, je trouverai l'amour a Paris!
Maintenant, ma coeur est en morceaux,
mais bientot, j'irai au Bordeaux.
alors, je ne lui dit jamais "Merci"

Cet jour, je danse pour la vie!
Je vive heureusement sans lui.
J'ai trouve l'amour avec un garcon,
J'enseigne l'amour d'une leçon
maintenant, la vie est vraiment complet sans lui.

I can't help myself.

I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
Til' all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I've been on the brink, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

My god, amazing how we got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news
All the problems that we could solve
And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Singing straight, too cold
I don't really like my flow, no, so
 Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'mma tell you everything

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

All my secrets away
All my secrets away


"secrets" by OneRepublic

Seriously, though. You just don't get it. (The West Saga)

I'm new. I don't know what to do right now. I have been in Michigan for two weeks now and classes are great. I'm working, slowly, towards that English degree. But the thing is, I need to dance. I haven't danced for nearly four months. So, I figured I might as well try out for the dance troupe at CMU, Orchesis. But the thing is, I'm scared. The dancers before me have been completely amazing, and nevertheless, we have to dance with a partner. We don't know the dance, nor do we know eachother's dance style. We're supposed to just move. 

The team before me finishes with an amazing set of perfect fouette turns into an attitude turn, then lands perfectly. The whole audience of three people bursts into applause. I see the director jotting down notes and nodding affectionately. Oh no, I think to myself, this is not going to go well.

Nervousness builds up in my gut. Butterflies go wild, and I am unwillingly pushed on stage as my name is called. Another name is called, Wesley, and a boy is pushed on stage opposite me.

"Get to know each other for about 5 seconds, then dance for me!" the director commands.

I slowly make my way over to him. He's tall, muscular, and as my gaze drifts up to his face, holy shit, he's HOT.

"Hi. My name's Wesley. I've danced for ten years now." He says.

"Uh, hi. I'm Tia. I've danced for 15 years."

"Wow. That's a long time."

"Yeah, I know..."

"TIME'S UP! Let's see you dance!" 

My heart pounds fast, but I ignore it, knowing it will only distract me. The music starts to play, and I almost lose my composure to a fit of laughter. We're supposed to dance to "California Gurls." Yeah, right.

But it just happens. We move like no one else moved before. Our bodies managed to work in nearly flawless synchronization, and we never missed a step. When the song finishes, we stand in our final pose, me wrapped in Wesley's arms while he gazes away from my face, our breath coming out in bursts.

The audience of three is dead silent. Oh no, we were bad... I begin to think.

Then, a single clap echoes. It suddenly ricochets into a thunderous roar of applause. Everyone was clapping hard, the audience, the director, the dancers, even the random spectators who were just passing by and became interested in the dance. 

Nothing could have prepared me for that moment. The director tells us she's never seen two strangers dance so well together the first time. She says she wants us both on the team as a duet. We would dance in the large numbers, but we would always have a duet for every show. I stand there, open mouthed as Wesley and I are told all about what went right. Our technique was "lovely," our posture was "superb," and our stage presence was "simply outstanding." She says she is so excited to have us on the team. We are to report to the stage at 8 am on saturday for our first practice as a duet. Great, I'm not a morning person.

"Um, ma'am?" Wesley says.

"Yes?"

"I'm not too much of a morning person. Could we move it back to like, 10?"

"Well if the lady says yes I suppose it wouldn't be a problem."

"YES!" I burst out.

Wesley raises an eyebrow at me, and the director chuckles. "Looks like your partner isn't much of a morning person either." She says.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------


As I leave the theatre, I hear footsteps behind me. I turn to see Wesley jumping down the stairs two at a time to catch up to me.

"Wow... That was tiring. Anyways, Tia, I was wondering if, since we're going to be partners, if you maybe... wanted to.... you know.... get a coffee or something?"

He is SO cute. "Sure, Wesley. I'd like that."

"Oh, you can call me Wes. I like that better anyways."

AHHH nickname already! "Okay, Wes."

So, we stop by the Java Hut in the library. He's brought his books with him, I guess to study. I sneak a peek at what he's studying, and I'm surprised to see he has the same calculus homework as me. Professors don't usually share their homework with other professors.

"What calculus class are you in?" I ask as casually as possible.

"Oh! I'm in 10 am calc, Monday thru Thursday."

"Wait, with Professor Zheng?"

"Yeah."

"WEIRD! I'm in that class too!! How did we not recognize each other?"

"Whoa! I have no idea! That's awesome!"

So we talk for a while about antiderivitives and integrals and the differences between the two. Wow, we are such dorks. Anyways, he starts getting bored of the math lingo and proceeds to ask me on another date, saturday night. Of course I say yes, because I'm already half in love with this guy.

We talked more about ourselves. I found out he plays guitar, writes songs, dances, sings, and majors in English. He's like me, in boy form! I can't keep my excitement down.

"No way!! Wes, seriously! You're like me, in boy form!" I say to him.

"I was just thinking you were like me in girl form!" He replies, and smiles.

Wow, that smile is so HAWT. Stop it Tia, keep your cool. "This is so funny! We even think alike."

"Yeah!" He chuckles at my excited behavior.

But we don't have all day. It's friday night, and I have a party to go to. My first college party, actually. So we pack up our things and exchange phone numbers. Might as well, since we're partners. But I'm so happy to have his number. He's pretty much the best thing that's happened to me at school so far. And I wanted to keep that going for as long as I could.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 PART TWO COMING SOON

(as soon as I have another dream about it. yes. this was a dream.)

Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah NAHHH

GO AWAY.

i feel like a child. WALRUS. im seriously just writing down my thoughts right now. im very random... im getting trash cans for my dorm room... we're going with a black and white theme. YAY!! i really like movies. UP was really sad..... and apparently im like Doug the talking dog. Sad. but yet, so funny!!!
i told evan today that i like poetry. i like robert frost. and he likes shel silverstein. who is TOTALLY awesome! both of them are, i mean. Blah blah blah. i have WAY to much stuff going on in my head. wow i just censored myself because i was going to say SHIT. whoops. hahaha i guess i let that one slip.
ahhh who cares?? im an "adult" now. hah. like that was ever going to happen.
you know how people always say that men never grow up? what about women? some women never grow up either. i'm one of them. i love acting like a kid! you know why? because kids are so free, so unburdened, and they can live in a world of pure imagination! like WILLY WONKA! omg i want chocolate now... i saw a commercial last night for a wonka bar.... and it looked GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
seriously
though
im
nuts.

MUWHAHAHAHA
i really like TYPING IN ALL CAPS. IT HELPS ME GET MY POINT ACROSS.

or not.

Somebody Killed Falcor!

all around me i can hear, the silence of the storm.
no one else can hear, no one else anymore.
somewhere out there i know someone waits for me.
somewhere out there they're waiting, people just like me.

everyday i wonder where all roads lead to.
some people say they all lead to rome.
but one day i'd like to see if what they say is true.
one day i'd like to journey there and find every route.

I'm a wanderer, a vagabond by trade.
People see me in the street,
and wonder about my name.
Sometimes I've got a destination,
sometimes I haven't a clue.
But I know one thing they say just isnt true...
all roads lead to you.

Sometimes I've wondered how people just know
things that don't seem to have a source
Where do they learn their trade, or how to make love grow?
Somewhere there's a way, I just need to know.

All around me voices rise, whispers on the wind
I can't describe their voices, but they seemed to say
Listen to me, listen to your heart, listen to your mind
but not all at the same time!

I'm a wanderer, a vagabond by trade.

People see me in the street,

and wonder about my name.

Sometimes I've got a destination,

sometimes I haven't a clue.

But I know one thing they say just isnt true...

all roads lead to you.

I'm a wanderer, a vagabond by trade.

People see me in the street,

and wonder about my name.

I used to have some destinations,

Or sometimes I never knew.

But I know one thing they say now is true...

those roads never lead to you.

they never lead to you

never lead

to you.

I Had A Dream

this is an ode to misty mornings.
to the sun not quite breaking over the hills.
to frost on windows.

this is an ode to the view out my window.
to the trees swaying in the gentle breeze.
to sunkissed skin.

this is an ode to the seasons ever changing.
to the leaves when they fall, red yellow and orange
to snow.

this is an ode to what i love in my world.
to the fog that conceals my secrets.
and the secrets of nature.

this is an ode to a final day spent in the air.
to feeling that last drop of rain.
to exhaling

            one


                                       last


                                                                                    time.......

I hope you read this...

I hope you read this.
My love, my all. My serenity, my virginity.
the one whose heart i call my home.
If you do, i want you to know that nothing in this world can make me love you less.
Even though you are thousands of miles from me,
i can't imagine a life without your face.
your hands in mine,
your lips on my cheek.

Nothing would please me more than to feel your hands in mine once more
i love you, i miss you
and i cant keep going on like this
no more you means no more me
and i cant deal with you not being here
so come home
please come back home.

I know you said once before
that you would never come again
come back to this dreary place
the place where it all began
you told me once so long ago
that your life here was done.
you never wanted to see it again.

but do you know that you're my life?
the air i breathe, the songs i sing?
do you know that i cant live without you
but somehow i've carried on?
do you know that i'd give everything
to hear your voice once again
do you know.
how much i love you?

every wound in my heart was patched by the sound of your voice.
every breath you took filled me with joy
every time you touched me my soul was restored again
and if i were given the world,
i would not take the world,
if it were a world without you.


so remember this, dear love,
i hope you know that you mean more to me than even i know
and that i've been waiting in this moment for so long.
just waiting for you.

A Hero Is Born

Sadly enough, my mind is blank. Like a sheet of paper, or a canvas before an artist or writer decides to play around with the ideas floating around inside their heads.... Except I am not like that. There's too much in my head for me to get all down here in this post. I have Hide and Seek stuck in my head, and I keep thinking about the fact that I have a month left of summer here in Wisconsin before I head off to college. I can't believe it... It seems like only yesterday I was walking into the halls of my high school for the first time, and now I've already tossed my cap into the air and received my diploma. But what for? That's what I really want to know.
What's my purpose here? Why was I created? What am I supposed to do with my life? I have no idea, and it seems that no one else does either. I'm just another teenager, looking to find my place in this world so full of fear, hate, crime and violence, and not near enough love. I wish I could say I knew exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life, but I can't. I don't know what I wish to do with a Bachelor's degree in English. I don't know what I want to do with 13+ years of dance. I don't know what I want to do with the thousands of songs I've written and learned on guitar. I just don't know, and I've finally come to terms with the fact that it's okay that I don't know. That it's fine that I can't decide. I can do what I want to if I set my mind to it.
I'm not trying to sound cheesy or anything. But this is more for me than you, the reader. I just want you to catch a glimpse into the quagmire of thoughts churning and reeling inside this head of mine. Maybe then someone will understand.

Where Are We?

Where are we?
What the hell is going on?
Dust had only just begun to fall.
Crop circles in the carpet.
Sinking feeling.....

Hide and Seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
Hide and Seek.
They were here first.

Hide and Seek- Imogen Heap <3


Its like you were made for me. and i wonder if you know, something else that no ones ever known. that your eyes say you do. these things that even i dont know. you steal the rain. but baby sometimes it needs to rain. just out of reach, beyond my reach. they are screaming out your name. keep your head up girl. don't you see you've won? and it's hard, it's life, but its alright. you can fall, you can fly. why do we wonder about things we can't explain? after all, weren't they meant to be that way? not everything is for the better, but everything is for the world. and now you've got wings to help you to fly. then we dance together to the pitter-patter of the rain as it falls on the heads of you and me. leave your hands in mine, and let the world crash down outside. if i were offered the world and all her riches, i would not take it, were it a world without the greatest treasure of all. way at the back of the line are the quiet things, just watching, just waiting for you to change.

The Only Exception

I'm writing... I'm thinking. Im thinking of this song. This song I love. What is love? The song is about love. Love love love. OOHHH love. Sappy stuff, that's what it is. I've dreamt about my mr. right soul mate perfect match before. And that's all it is. A dream. What is the definition of "perfect match?" or "soul mate?" I always thought it was when two people had such a deep connection that they didnt even need to use words to communicate their thoughts, feelings and emotions. But it's so much more than that. It's knowing that person better than you know yourself, and vice versa. It's wanting to please them, but knowing your limits and theirs. It's just simply understanding, and being able to empathize or sympathize with their feelings. Having a "soul mate" dosent mean that you are in love with the person, it means you LOVE them.


Anna.

Megan.

Brittany. 

Bimpe.

These are my soul mates. And I love them, and they love me. Thats all I need.

Monsters Under The Bed

Monsters hide beneath my bed
monsters try to eat my head
where, oh where did my flashlight go?
without it I will never know
if there are things behind the door
or if under my bed there are some more
monsters that I cannot see
without my trusty flashlight beam
I'm getting nervous, feeling sick
I hear their giggles, plotting tricks
Don't eat me please, I'm still so young
I want to live, and have some fun!

The sun rises, I wake in my bed
I'm in once piece, I've still got my head
I guess the monsters took pity on me
or just got bored or not hungry.
Another day I've saved myself
and kept the monsters in better health.

Lightning

ZAP!!!!

I saw lightning on my way home from Charlotte, North Carolina. And no, it’s not the first time I’ve seen lightning…. But you see, this was different somehow. There was one single cloud off in the distance that had flashes of lightning in it for as long as my plane flew by.

See, lightning is like me in a way. It’s unpredictable, and it never strikes in the same place twice. It’s dangerous, but strangely fascinating at the same time. I can’t describe why I was so interested in it, but I can tell you one thing, I’ll never understand lightning, just like I don’t think I’ll fully understand myself. I guess I’m okay with that, but the world isn’t. Everyone is always saying, find yourself! Figure out who you are and don’t let anyone tell you who you should be. Well, what if who you are just simply is non-explicable? Untraceable? Unreadable? How are you supposed to “find yourself” then? Exactly. You can’t. And truth be told, I wouldn’t mind having other people take a crack at trying to figure out who I am, just as long as they understand they most likely aren’t right. I’m as complicated as a person should be, but yet, as simple and unpredictably beautiful as lightning.

Tia

Help Me I Think I'm Falling

Help me i think im falling in love again!!

"Parlez avec moi, mon petit monseigner."

"...ouai?"

"Quest-ce que vous pensez que vous faites??? Est-ce que vous mon enemie? ou mon AMI?!?!?!"

"Je suis vos ami, madame! Ne me tue pas!!!! S'il vous plait!! Je suis jeune!!!"

La belle fille sourie. "C'est ca, mon cherie. Calmez-vous. Je ne va vous tuez pas."

"Vraiment?"

Elle sourie plus grande. "Vraiment."

"Alors.... pourquoi vous etes fache avec moi?"

"Parce-que vous etes stupid."

"Quoi????? Dit-ca encore."

"Vous. Etes. Stupid."

"Mais, madame, quest-ce que je fait?? Je ne sais pas pourquoi vous etes fache avec moi?? Je ne fait rien!!"

"Exactement. Vous ne faites rien. Alors, vous etes stupid. C'est la terminisation de la conversation."

Son bouche n'etait pas ferme. Il etait confuse et triste. Mais, il n'y a rien qu'il peut faire.

I like writing in french. :)