I'm going to be honest right now. Im struggling with self-pity and shallowness. (is that even a word?) So what? He supposedly changed my life. But I'm overlooking the people who have changed my life even more.
Mark Beyer- He's at the top of my list for being there. For being my brother when my REAL brother couldn't. He looks out for me, makes sure I'm safe, tells me, "Tia. You're being stupid." He knows me. He's psychic. And not to mention, he knows what's best for me. He doesn't tell me what I want to hear, he tells me what I NEED to hear, even if I don't want to hear it. He's the best friend I could ever ask for. He's first because he's the one who made me realize what I need to appreciate. It's not boys, it's not drinking, it's not sex, it's not superficial shit. It's the people, the things, the ideas, that will shape me and form me into the person I'm meant to be. No other 18 year old boy could possibly make me realize that. And he did.
Megan Trehey- She's here because she's my lover, my twin, my soul. She's the one who tells me what I want to hear, but knows when she needs to tell me what I need to hear. She's the sister I never had from my second family. She knows all my secrets, all my gripes and grievances. She tells me, "Tia just listen to me and you'll get it." We share a like-mindedness about most things, and life doesn't get any better than that. Our lives have become so intertwined that I don't think we'll ever become less close than we are now. She's changed me into who I am (partially) today. I'll never lose her. I couldn't continue living without her, she's like my breath, my life, my air. Creepy sounding, I know. But it's true.
Anna Sweeney- My best friend. My sister. There's nothing she wouldn't do for me, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her. Our relationship is basically impossible to describe. We're two halves of a whole, she's the expecto to my patronum (sorry for the HP reference, I couldn't help myself), the sanity to my insanity, the cheese to my macaroni. If she was a boy.... I'll just leave it at that.
Brittany Bavery- This girl makes me think. She's so beautiful, and so wonderful, and so talented, but she doesn't see it. She tells me everything that's wonderful about me all the time, yet she can't see that she's all those things and more. Sure, she's been pissed at me, and vice versa, but that's all a part of the ride. There's so much we know about each other, and so much we have in common. Dancers stick together like glue, no, like SUPERglue. And trust me, no amount of hot scalding water is going to break us apart.
Ben Sundstrom- I've known him for... a little over a month. But man this kid knows his shit. He's like me, in a way, and completely amazing at that. We've actually only met in person twice, but those times have been the greatest ever. I've vented to him, and he's taken it like a man, and given me some of the best advice I've heard next to anything that comes out of Mark's mouth.
Jessie Dowding- My REAL brother. Of course he'd be on here, considering the fact he's family. I've never realized how lucky I am to have him as an older brother. He's perfect for the job. He's protective but not to the point of smothering me. He knows how to be my best friend at times, and how to keep me in line at others. God himself designed the perfect brother for me, the one person in my life who I can tell absolutely EVERYTHING to with no fear of being shunned or laughed at or angering. He may think I'm stupid and irresponsible at times, and he may annoy the shit out of me on occasion, but that's what we do. We poke and prod at each other's buttons, but we never cross the line. We need each other too much to do that.
Paul & Cindy Dowding- I'm going to end my list with my parents. If anybody makes a list like this, their parents MUST be on here. Why? Well duh. You wouldn't exist without them. You wouldn't know how to be human without them. Your mind has developed the way it has because of how they raised you, how they nourished you, how they loved you. And I've developed into the greatest person I can be because they loved me unconditionally, irrevocably, and eternally. They made me into an active member of society, and they made me into a loving person, because of their love for me. I don't respect anyone more than I respect them. I don't honor anyone higher than them (except God, but I'm talking about people here), and I will never love anyone more than them. I can love someone so much, but it will never equal the amount of love I have for the mother and father who raised me like a child should be raised.
So to each person on this list-
I love you. and not like the flimsy "Love ya!" you say to your friends before you part ways. I love you actually more means like I need you. I can't live without you. You complete me. See a person can't be a person without others. One single person is not a person. They are only part of the puzzle. And none of these people would be quite whole without me. And I realize that now, and I accept it. I love being a part of their lives, a part of their being. It makes me feel loved and wanted, and whole.
p.s. the illusive "Him" was not on this list.
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