Wishing

Wishing.

What a wistful word. The word itself sounds like a wish. But there are so many things that go along with wishing. Want, hurt, tears, wonder, confusion.... and the list goes on and on.....

I used to wish for petty, material things. But now my wishes have become more... centered. I wish I could follow the path I've set out for myself, I wish people here would understand me, I wish I could go home, I wish rap was never invented.
But wishes don't come true all on their own. There's some degree of your own personal will that has to go into wishing. You have to put some effort into it, or fate won't put any effort out.
I wish I could see my destiny, I wish I was smarter, more determined, more focused. I wish I didn't have ADD. I wish I wasn't so weird. Then maybe I would be accepted in this cruel world that shuns anyone who's different then the norm.

But seriously, who makes up this "norm" we swarm around? Whoever said it was beautiful for women to be so skinny that you can see their bones? Whoever said it was handsome if a man had muscles on his arms that were bigger than his head?
No one's like that. We may be close, or see pictures in magazines, but it's all lies. Girls wish they were more attractive. Oh quit the shit, girls. You're beautiful the way you are, and any guy who says you're ugly is a sick, twisted, sexist pig.

But just one voice, just one person wishing isn't going to change the world. I'm not that much of a leader. I'm more of a follower, but I will step up if the need is there, not that anybody ever wants me in that position. Each time I've stepped up to the leadership plate, I was shot down by people who thought they were better than me, who thought they knew what they were talking about better than I did. Their words still haunt me to this day.

So I wish this : for my world to right itself. I wish I could be someone who's incredibly content with their life. I don't wish for everything to be perfect, because that's just boring. I wish for everything to make sense, and right now, it doesn't.