And I'm going to post something that is probably one of the deepest and most profound thought's I've ever had. I'm honestly scared out of my mind to think about it. But you have to. You have to think about this stuff when the opportunity and situation arises where things get to complicated for you not to put it down in words.
I have it all. I really do. So why do I question myself? What's so important about something else that I have to question the perfection (or almost perfection) that I have?
I should be content. I am. Except when this happens. It always ends this way. *for those of you wondering why I'm being vague, it's because this is me, confessing my DEEPEST, DARKEST SECRET online. And I can't just tell you straight up what's up*
Why do we have to choose? What if two options are just as perfect as one or the other? What pushes us over the edge? What TRULY makes us chose between one or the other? Some say time, others say it's you. But what if the circumstances make it impossible for time and you are not the most reliable source? What do you do then? Honestly.
What should one do, faced with the choice to say yes, or why?
There is never a no answer in this situation. It never happens, because it's rather impossible for that to happen. The universe won't let it.
But will the universe not let us decide? Or is that actually what's happening? Is the universe interfering in every day-to-day activities? Love lives? Destinies? I don't know. But right now, it sure feels like it. What are we doing? Why do these things happen at the worst times? Why do we question every single thing that's done up until now? Did we make a mistake? Or was it exactly how it was supposed to be? The problem we face is that we'll never know for sure. These "what-if's" are what make you question either path one must choose. But the problem is, once one is chosen, the other path is forever lost. You can't have both, because each one depends on the other being unsuccessful. "What-if's" are what make people lose everything they've ever dreamed and hoped for. "What-if's" make people lose sight of what's important.
Yet these what if's cause us to question whether or not what we're doing is the right thing or not. If you're having these what-if's, should you even be doing what you're doing? Sometimes the answer is no. Because sometimes, both of those paths are the right one. You just need to chose which one you're going to go down. But this situation is the most confusing of all.
What if the universe gave you two chances to succeed. But both of these opportunities were presented at the same time, but the methods to achieving this success were gone about in different ways. Would you chose one over the other, even though both lead to the same success? What would you lose along the way? What would you gain? How would you know until you chose one path or the other? How would you know what would have happened if you'd taken the other road? You won't know. You'll never know, because life only gives you one choice. There are no second chances when it comes to things like this. But how do you choose? How do you know?
I've realized this. You don't. You'll never know what you lost. You'll never know what you left behind. But you'll know this; whatever you did chose was the best choice for you. Knowing yourself is what's going to lead you to this moment, and lead you to this choice that's inevitably going to change the course of your life and everything you know. Only you can decide. Because in the end, you're the only one who's going to be affected by your decision. As much as it may hurt others, you can't change their paths, you can only choose your own. Their path is theirs; and your path is yours. As much as it may hurt you to say "this is what I have to do," it's always going to be what you needed.
As much as people may believe in destiny and fate, I believe there may be a singular, very powerful force moving the universe. But that force, that singular thing that is moving you along, is determined and powered by you. You're the only one that makes decisions in your life. And people may tell you they're the wrong ones, but in the end, you did what you had to do, and anyone left behind wasn't important enough to make it through.
What you do with your life is yours. What I do with my life is mine.
But somehow, it all will make sense in the end. I just need to keep telling myself that.
No comments:
Post a Comment