(0 unread) Yahoo! Mail, tmdowding

I felt him drape his arm over my shoulders, laughing from his belly like santa claus. I smiled, both internally and externally, because I enjoyed his touch way more than I should. He was forbidden to me, supposedly out of my league, but I couldn't keep myself away. He'd tempt me back into his arms with sweet words, knowing my boundaries between awkward and cute. But I knew this couldn't last. I was leaving, he was staying. He was 21, I was 18. He was perfect, I was... broken. I didn't deserve him, but he wanted me.

When he tried tempting me into staying out later with him, all he had to do was look at me and I would agree. No one could resist his steely blueish grey eyes that sparkled like icicles hanging off of a steel roof on sunny winter day. They were beautiful. So beautiful. His hair was a tangled mess, consisting of brown, red and maybe a little black, reminding me too much of my own hair color. My hands were cold, but his were warm, and always willing to hold my icy ones in an attempt to warm them up. I let it go that far, I let him worm his way into my heart just enough to leave a hole big enough to hurt when he was gone.

Did I love him? I didn't know, and I still don't. I think I did, or at least I like to tell myself I did. Did he love me? He never said, but I don't know. I like to tell myself he did, or maybe still does.

I didn't understand my infatuation with him. Maybe it was because even though he could, he never drank around me. Maybe it was because he wouldn't smoke ever. Maybe it was just his musky scent, a scent that followed me everywhere I went. Maybe it was his voice, or his eyes. It could be all of those things and more, but I just didn't know. I told myself I loved everything about him, maybe loved him too much. I told myself I wasn't going to get close to anyone before I left, but I had epically failed at that. He'd tried too hard to get me to let him into my world, and I couldn't resist that degree of love and attention.

So, thus, he came in. And he stayed. And he's still there, to this day.