All I need.

Is friends who love me.

Seriously. I don't remember all the pain and hurt that I'm going through right now when I'm with someone doing something silly, like watching disney movies. Then talking about deep stuff, and just waiting to finally realize that none of this shit really matters, the stuff that's going on. It may seem oh so important and stupid right now, when really there's nothing that I should be worrying about. This part of my life is only being lived to help me figure out who I am, and what I need to be to succeed in life. What I need to surround myself with to be happy.

I think I'm finally starting to figure that out.

I need Megan Trehey, I need Brittany Bavery, I need Tyler Thorson, Tim Holme, and Kobi Instiful. I need Jessie Dowding, and Paul and Cindy Dowding, and yes, I'll admit, I need Martin Barnard. I need Bimpe Olaniyan, I need Sohrab Golestani, I need Phil Cleven, I need Ella Koch, I need Jade Mueller, and I need Sam Meillener. I need my sorority sisters (most of them), and I need my family. I need Steve Carroll, I need Jacalyn Scott and Danielle Grego. I need Lauren Huettel and Dani Khoury. I need Eric Paeschke, Matt Hunt and Andrew Schneider.

And when that day comes when our scars have healed, I'll need Aaron Frommgen.

And someday, I'll need many other people who I meet and eventually love as much as everyone I've listed above.

And I admit, there should be people up here who no longer are because of things that have happened. And I regret them, these things that have driven a stake between us. I regret saying and doing things to piss them off. But at the same time it wasn't all me, and an apology is nowhere to be found, on either side. I'm not offering my apology, nor is she. But that makes me realize that I don't need her. And that my life is going to be so much better off without her.

So what do I need?

I need a fresh start, a new perspective, and a not so gloomy outlook. My life is going to start looking up again, even if I have to MAKE it brighter with my flashlight.